[CYPHER CODE #1525]
When custody stops being a weapon, divorce loses a lot of its power to destroy.
[CYPHER CODE #1526]
Kentucky didn't fix marriage. It disrupted the incentives that make divorce nastier.
[CYPHER CODE #1527]
Once the state stops helping one parent sideline the other, the whole divorce machine starts grinding differently.
BRIEFING
Grant here. Divorce is ugly. There's really no other way to put it. It's the end of a relationship, dividing of finances, assets, and then when you throw kids into the mix, things get a hundred times more complicated. But it looks like Kentucky might've just broken the divorce machine, or at the very least, it jammed a wrench into one of the ugliest parts of it. Let’s break it down.
So the numbers are in, and Kentucky’s divorce rate has fallen roughly 25% from 2016 to 2023 after the state made 50/50 shared custody the default in 2018.
SOURCE
Kentucky’s divorce rate fell roughly 25% from 2016 to 2023 after a 2018 law made 50/50 shared custody the default.
When custody is more predictable and fair, it cuts down on fights and removes the money motive for battling over kids.
This means fewer court wars and more choices based on what’s stable for the family, not just leverage.
Kentucky’s divorce rate fell roughly 25% from 2016 to 2023 after a 2018 law made 50/50 shared custody the default.
When custody is more predictable and fair, it cuts down on fights and removes the money motive for battling over kids.
This means fewer court wars and more choices… pic.twitter.com/FPPrl4WuC9
— Rothmus 🏴 (@Rothmus) April 17, 2026
Now, this isn't to say “one law solved divorce.” That's way too neat. The full story is that Kentucky changed the incentive structure around divorce in a way that might've made the whole process less strategic, less adversarial, and less useful for parents trying to turn children into leverage.
Kentucky’s 2018 law established that joint custody and equally shared parenting time are in the child’s best interests. Furthermore, the Kentucky law also states that this custody law doesn't apply where a domestic violence order exists.
So the state's goal is to establish equal custody, which strengthens family incentives, reduces conflict, and reinforces the child's tie to both parents.
It's looking out for the child, the family unit and also giving fathers more teeth in the divorce game.
SOURCE
Around the country, the fathers’ rights movement was gaining momentum. Dividing time and decision-making equally between parents, advocates argued, reduced children’s feelings of abandonment, promoted gender equality and lowered tensions between feuding couples.
“There is no law that affects more people other than taxes or traffic,” said Matt Hale, vice chair of the National Parents Organization, an advocacy group formerly known as Fathers and Families. “Giving kids equal access to both their parents is just common sense.” Dads like Hale and Holdsworth found a sympathetic ear in lawmakers including Jason Nemes, a Kentucky state representative whose own father was his primary guardian after his parents divorced.
In 2018, Kentucky became the first state to pass a law making equally shared custody the default arrangement in divorces and separations. Four other states—Arkansas, West Virginia, Florida and Missouri—have since passed their own versions of Kentucky’s custody bill. Around 20 more are considering or close to passing similar laws, according to an analysis by the National Parents Organization.
The law has become a model for other states, not least because Kentucky’s divorce rate has plummeted. Between 2016 and 2023 it fell 25%, compared with a nationwide decline of 18%, according to an analysis by the National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University.
DEBRIEFING
What Kentucky seems to have done is not “solve” divorce. But it's definitely changed the game.
Once the law starts from the assumption that both parents matter, the whole custody fight has a lot less ammo behind it. And that alone can lower some of the ugliness, because one parent no longer walks into court assuming the system stands behind them by default.
That 25% divorce-drop claim is what makes gaining a lot of attention, but the biggest takeaway here is about the balance that's been created, not miracle statistics.
This really is just common-sense family law, where both parents are real parents unless there is a serious reason, like domestic abuse, to tip the scales.
If more states adopt this model, they may not “fix” divorce, but they can absolutely make the system less destructive, less manipulative, and less tilted toward custody warfare in the first place.
NOW YOU KNOW
Once both parents start as real parents, the custody war starts losing oxygen.
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This is a good law. But there needs to be one more. The house is not divided up either. Instead of little kids being dragged back and forth between the parents’ homes, the kids remain in the common home and the parents switch back and forth living with them in THEIR home. Weekly moving is hard on children, and kids deserve that stability. If parents don’t want to live like that, maybe they should consider counseling over divorce. But the best thing to do is get rid of no-fault divorce. The cheating spouse should, indeed, loose custody.
Ridiculous statement unless the parents are millionaires, and even then, it is a stretch. Most families struggle to afford ONE home. Now you are expecting the same budget to finance THREE homes! What planet are you from? My ex tries that approach and even the judge did all he could to hold back a smile.
If you really want to reduce frivolous divorce, grant fathers default custody of children.
Wish they made it fair in Tennessee. When my stepson was a bailiff, he told of a female meth-using prostitute with three kids, arrested on various charges. She told the court her ex abused their kids–and on her say-so, he awarded her full custody, suspending all her sentences, including the mandated drug testing–while her Christian husband working two jobs got even MORE alimony and child support payments.